my first poem

sleeping on the cold floor 

i didn't hear you open the door

lying hours in this freezing room

after i nearly died this afternoon

 

loud music in my ears deafens me

i want you to be my company

i want you to be close, but not too much

cause sometimes i disgust your touch

 

stop where you are and don't come near

cause i hate when you can feel my fear

fearless, thats what i wish i could be

but i feel like this only in your company

 

but again, sometimes i hate you for what you did and then i hate you for what you haven't done

but how could i hate you that much when your soul is brighter than the sun

 

so come closer, don't be afraid

my fear is slowly starting to fade

so please, don't leave me soon

cause i will be again lonely in this room

 

hug me and stay with me

i will show you how happy together we could be

now i want you to leave me again

but i don't want to feel all that pain

 

so please, stay a little bit longer

only your pleasant words can make me feel stronger

only you can make me feel safe, even if i loose all of my faith

 

feeling powerless 

i hope that its not obvious 

i felt so anxious, so i fell on my knees

now i can't feel any weight on my back, just an ease

 

slowly im dying under all this pressure and I'm not sure if i can hold on

i have no thoughts left, just this one

 

if i loved someone or something so much in this world, then it was you and only you

but you never had a clue

i know that we were probably never meant to be

but i always felt right in your company

maybe in the next life we will meet again, we will see...

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